I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
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