Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
