Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
