I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
