Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
