At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
