I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
