So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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