Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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