i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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