I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
