I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
