Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
