All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
