i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
