Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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