Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
