How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
