so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
