Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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