do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
