They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
