He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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