did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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