this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize