I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
