I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't deserve a penis
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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