there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
