Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Randomize
