Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
