okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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