Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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