so let's talk penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
