2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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