I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
