Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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