There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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