y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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