sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
