'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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