She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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