it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
