He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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