I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need to align my fucking chakras
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
