So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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