mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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