it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
