Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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