i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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