is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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