How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
