Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
