i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
