VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
