I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
zippers are such a cool invention
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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