The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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