One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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