I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
handjob tips. give me some.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
