you have to choose: penises or morals?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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