happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
