WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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